Happy Birthday To Me

It is my for reals meat-person birthday today.

As gifts I will accept cash or those items that can be easily converted to cash.

Blogiversary

Started this blog on this day in 2005. Bed now.

Maj. Joshua Sleestak (ret.) Continental Army, 1806

Took a bit of internet searching on and off during the last year but I finally found some real world provenance for the origin of the ‘Sleestak’ name for the fictional lizard creatures populating the pocket universe of the classic 1970s television show The Land of the Lost. According to the episode Follow That Dinosaur (Season 1, Episode 13) the native Altrusians were colloquially named ‘Sleestak’ by a time-lost soldier from the Revolutionary War because they reminded him of his commanding officer from his service in the Continental Army, Major Joshua Sleestak. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Executive Producer for the show David Gerrold must have been a history buff.

A star on earth and the heavens

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

New comet found

San Diego, Ca. – (HMCC News Service) – Dedicated staff at the Hayley Mills Celebratory Complex Orbital Space Platform have announced the discovery of a new comet. Originally detected by the HMCC Deep Space Telescope in April 2011 the object was confirmed as a comet in a joint effort by NASA and the HMCC.

A preliminary orbit calculated by the HMCC has determined that the newly discovered comet, named HAYLEY-BOPP by an overwhelming number of raised hands supporting the designation, will swing by the planet earth in an orbit roughly the same distance from the Sun to the planet Venus.

Scientists have reported that the comet is unusual in its chemical make-up. Rather then the “dirty snowball” of ice and frozen gases that most comets are made of HAYLEY-BOPP is unique and atypical. The HMCC has determined through rigorous peer-reviewed science that HAYLEY-BOPP is made of pure, crystal clear water as clean as a mountain spring. “Cleaner, even.” Claims the staff of the HMCC. “We suspect that the water is so pure that if a Maryland sewer rat were exposed to this celestial super-fluid it would transform into an immortal puppy that barks rainbows.”

Below is the first photograph of comet HAYLEY-BOPP as recorded by the HMCC Deep Space Telescope. Coincidentally, the comet structurally resembles screen and television star Hayley Mills.
“Not so unusual.” Claims Sleestak, the leader of the HMCC. “In a mysterious, infinite universe it is inevitable that Hayley Mills will appear almost everywhere you look. We all expected as much, hence the need for the Deep Space Telescope. It merely confirmed what we already knew, that Hayley Mills totally rules not only on earth but in space as well.”

The HMCC also reports that while the path of HAYLEY-BOPP will bring it relatively near earth the distances between the orbits of the comet and the earth are “mind-boggling” and HAYLEY-BOPP is no threat to the planet. Says Sleestak: “HAYLEY-BOPP poses no danger to the earth at all, though of course there are always some doom cultists that are scared of things they don’t understand. Yesterday the HMCC received a fax from the Lindsay Lohan Fan Club signed by both members pronouncing doom unless the comet is stopped and sent back into space. Oh, and Lindsay wants to know why Hayley won’t return her calls.”

Dance Craze

It was on this day minus a few days give or take one or two years ago that Will Ferrell did his best to ensure there ever being a hard-SF version of The Land of the Lost. It would be easier and more profitable to rip off the concept of LotL and package it as something new and original than use the Krofft characters ever again. Die in a gutter, Will!

Do the Sleestak!

Beware the Sleehawks

Sleestak, thy name is vanity

Thinking about buying a vanity plate for the car even though I’m not a tool bag. ‘Slestak’ is obvious and I like it, though ‘LOSTROR’ and ‘LSTROAR’ has an appeal. The 2nd and 3rd being the last word and action from the Land of the Lost theme where Wesley Eure sings “…Living in the Land of the Lost Lost Lost” and Grumpy the T-Rex attacks the camera and roars. I like the 3rd example better than the 2nd because ‘LOSTROR’ can read as LOS TERROR and I don’t want that.

The third style of plate would be difficult for anyone to figure out but part of the fun of an obscure license plate is explaining to confused people what it means. Good thing I’m already married for life because that much geek displayed in public would ensure I’d never have a relationship with a woman that didn’t first require funds being handed over to her.

‘HLYRULZ’ is the Hayley Mills gag plate I put in photos to conceal real license plates and while I think it would be great to have I don’t think my wife would appreciate it. She doesn’t get the whole Hayley Mills obsession. Some people are just born broken that way.

Special S

This speech balloon on the back of some boxes of crackers is supposed to be a means of affirmation for women with low self-esteem to feel better about themselves. The idea is that the customer writes on the back of the box what they expect to receive for eating allegedly low-calorie or small-volume snacks. They then become less depressed or something.

In reality it is affording the staff of some grocery stores plenty of opportunities for pranks where they write or place a sticker on the back of the box and replace it on the shelf, causing paininthebuttery to ensue.

Then of course, the company making the crackers is just foolish in encouraging people to upload their own affirmations and also allowing them to create their own commercial using the uploaded photo.

Heh. When will they learn?

Sleestak on the Edge of Forever

I know I’m the only one, but the thought of Kirk and the Gang traveling through time and risking Universe-altering paradox to stop Enik the Altrusian from winning Final Jeopardy is hilarious*.

Just think, if I was waiting in line at the San Diego Comic-Con this art would not have existed. The road not traveled, indeed!

* The winning answer was “Who is Hayley Mills?”