This scene from an old comic book romance title is Silver Age gold and stuff like this is the reason I bother getting out of bed in the morning. Let me dissect these panels for those of you who don’t actually read the old comics so many bloggers take the trouble to post. Yes, you.
Take a look at this scene.
It’s like if Animal Planet produced a comic book and it starred frat boys and débutantes instead of Meerkats and Chimpanzees! With a minimum of posturing the Alpha Male stakes a claim on an available female of child-bearing age as his mate and stymies his challenger. Unlike in the animal world, violence is very likely if someone blocks the way to the vagina. Kurt is fortunate he backed down or he could have been seriously injured and therefore easy prey for other predators.
Now let’s break the panels down even further.
Dick Strong: Obviously, his name means Mighty Penis.
Kurt Johnson: The definition of the onomatopoeic name Curt is “rudely brief” and Johnson of course refers to the slang name for penis. Dick’s unsuccessful rival has a name that advertises his virility as sub-standard and alludes to finishing sexual congress prematurely. For some selfish reason, women seem to be concerned about that and find it undesirable in a male partner. Not that we care.
Private Property: That would be the females. Women belong to the Alpha Male, who keeps the girls around only for procreation and sandwich-making.
Don’t ever tell me these comic book creators didn’t know what they were doing.
From Romantic Story #33 (August 1956).
Commenter Elu-Lux directed me to a preview picture of Sleestaks from the upcoming Land of the Lost movie that is currently in production. If the image is accurate the Sleestaks look a bit more fierce and scary (given the better budget) but I don’t understand the scene. If it is just a promo picture then fine, but if the image represents a scene in the movie I’m worried. The Sleestak Army looks as if if they were slumbering in alcoves in the cliff wall (the Rock people did something similar in an old Flash Gordon serial) and are waking up and attacking because someone trespassed in their hive or something.
That’s kind of worrisome to me because again, it seems as if a plot of a science fiction movie is all about the protagonists causing a problem and then being forced to clean up their own mess and then being declared heroes (See: Daredevil, Fantastic Four, Iron Man, Hulk, etc. etc). I have a feeling that in the film the Sleestaks will be a cautionary legend among the denizens of the LotL until zany dad Marshall wakes them up, causing many wacky chase scenes and Jerry Lewis-like mugging for the lens.
I’ll wait and see until I know more about the film but my extrapolations from what I have heard do not make me enthused about the project. I have already mentioned my misgivings and expectations due to who was cast as the lead actor.
Well, if nothing else I will be able to get cool movie tie-in toys!
Which is what the producers are counting on, darn it.
In 1995 Marvel published a Billy Ray Cyrus comic book.
Billy Ray Cyrus.
And he travels through time.
Now, when Marvel published a story of the rock band KISS visiting other dimensions and fighting in a war against Disco that made perfect sense and was a story that needed to be told.
Billy Ray Cyrus?
Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with Ted hanging around outside waiting for you to leave.
Love Confessions #39 (October 1954).
Open the trunk by clicking the picture!
From Cavalcade Magazine (January 1953).