God Oil Good For You says God Oil Council

The media is reporting only a few people have done unfortunate things fearing the end of the world but even three would be too many. There may be scores of people who inflicted damage to themselves and others that we know nothing about. It is unfortunate that the mentally ill in particular suffer, and what other way would you describe them, when fear is fostered by every grifter with an internet connection.

PZ Meyers passes on the news that one woman attempted to kill herself and her children, a man committed suicide and another person gave away all their money anticipating the Rapture. NONE of which makes sense even in their strange world view. In accordance to their own wacky rules the mother and the man in Nairobi could have just repented and been saved and the children were innocents so no problem, they would have been removed from the world by a higher power. Their actions display not only illness but a profound lack of faith in their own system.

And why give away money to strangers when you would just leave it all behind for sinful looters anyways? It isn’t like the cash you left behind would be used for good purpose in any case. Even if you left it with someone you trust to do good deeds with it, they are going to be left behind and since being irredeemably sinful, they would divert the funds to their own purposes once you were gone.

As of 10 am pacific time the Harold Camping website has not been updated to reflect the world not ending. I am curious as to what form the next installment of the message will take. Undoubtedly the news from all the various God oil salesmen will be full of squirming, convoluted weasel words to explain why God’s plan is unknowable and the Rapture did not occur because Jesus is still holding out for a percentage of those WWJD bracelets and send more money or you will face damnation. Who knows? Since Harold is hiding from the faithful and mocking alike it might be a while before we get an update.

You know what? Right now I’m asking Harold to do some good in the world. Shutter your 120 million dollar radio empire, liquidate everything and donate the funds to some charities that actually accomplish something positive and not do something stupid and wasteful like build more prayer buildings or programs that teach abstinence. There are a lot of organizations out there that will actually make people’s lives better and make the planet a nicer place to live. All those bucks could really do a lot of great things if sent to the right places. Let good things and not bad jokes be your legacy, Harold.