One for the Wish List

With my birthday coming up in the next couple of weeks the wife asked me what I wanted as a gift. Without hesitation I told her I want bed covers embroidered on the side with the phrase CONTINUED AFTER NEXT PAGE.

When the wife asked for what purpose I could possibly want anything like that I informed her that it was so I could throw myself sobbing on the bed in order to perfectly emulate this comic book panel from Personal Love #2 (Nov-Dec 1958).

I don’t think a day would pass where I wouldn’t act out the scene at least twice.

I’ll probably just get a new Leatherman or Gerber multi-tool, though. My wife doesn’t get my humor.

Cowboy "Magic"

Optical illusion and a lesson in physics from Western Round-Up #10 (June-July 1955).

I generally like magic but I trend more to the performance art style of magic that Penn & Teller use in their acts, the kind of stunts that mess with people’s heads. I really enjoy the slight of hand that Teller performs in the old acts.

Want to do some performance-magic, Sleestak-style? Okay, for the first time anywhere let me reveal the secret of the famous He’s About To Go Postal Trick:

  1. Get an old doll with hair that closely resembles yours.
  2. Clip off a few locks of the doll hair.
  3. Go to work, concealing some of the hair in one hand before you enter your workplace.
  4. Wait for the first co-worker to greet you, preferably one with a small group.
  5. When they greet you, tremble, clutch both hands to your head and say, “Dammit! The sound of your voice just makes me want to…AAAAGH!”
  6. Pretend to rip some of your hair out and slowly open the hand containing the lock of doll hair, letting it slowly fall to the floor.
  7. Then reveal to your audience that it was a sleight of hand gag, enjoy the accolades and back-slapping. Some high-fiving may occur. Hot, lonely women may want to party with you.

Note: I don’t recommend anyone actually do this. I’m merely revealing my secret. Leave performance art magic to the professionals. I am not responsible for firings, punishment, censure, trauma or SWAT teams being deployed if anyone actually performs this trick. IT’S NOT MY FAULT!