Comic Book Ad: 2-Fer

This advertisement in Young Men #4 (June 1950) not only pushes candy but also the recent release of a William Bendix film, in which a character from a Boy’s Town-like youth center visits his sick mother in the hospital and gives her a box of candy he probably nicked from the nearby Woolworth’s.

Has anyone seen the 1949 William Bendix film Johnny Holiday? I’d be interested to know if such blatant product placement as the character giving a box of brand candy to his mother and her delighted reaction actually appeared in the movie.

Once upon a time, people in films often drank from fictional label soda bottles and smoked generic cigarettes. While there would be partnerships among the companies to use their product in films they either owned or produced, with the exception of cars and other items that would be too bothersome to duplicate as props it took a while before someone hit upon the idea of accepting payments for prominently featuring consumer goods in a film. Prior to that bad idea brand name appliances and goods were just props. The actors did not extol the virtues of a self-cleaning, the smooth ride of a particular car or awkwardly hold a bottle so the label would not be obscured in every scene. The camera did not linger overlong on the sleek design of the shiny new refrigerator. Consumer goods were props and background, just incidental scenery.

Overt product placement is a relatively new part of the process of movie making. Becoming more obvious in the cinema of the 60s it increased until such fare as the James Bond movies were little more than 2 hour commercials for boy toy gadgets. Let us not forget the less than subtle, fast-food inspired Mac and Me and the uncredited inanimate cast members in the form of the volleyball and international delivery service in the Tom Hanks vehicle Cast Away.

The Bendix film was not the only movie advertised in that issue of Young Men. Beneath the ad for chewing gum is the promo for classic World War 2 film The Sands of Iwo-Jima.

It’s John Wayne in comic book form!

Tags: Comic Book Ad Movies Product Placement
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Just a LOL stuffed bull

Blame Bully

Tags: lolbully

Sleestak’s Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean 3

I went and saw Pirates of the Caribbean – At World’s End yesterday. Really, that film stank and it wasn’t from the Squid-Guy. Sitting in the theater I lost track of exactly what movie I was watching. At different times I kept thinking I was watching either Time Bandits or Erik the Viking.

Everyone, with the exception of Geoffrey Rush, kind of phoned the acting chores in, as if they wanted to get done in a hurry so they could go sip drinks on the beach. Even then there were a few scenes where you could tell that Rush had a long day in costume standing in front of a Green Screen with the director instructing him to “Yell a bunch of random piratey stuff and we’ll leave the cameras rolling.” that they would cut and fit into scenes later during editing. I also kept wishing for subtitles so I could understand what the heck the Swamp-Witch was saying.

The only reason I could imagine that anyone would be enthusiastic about the movie was if they were irrationally hot for Depp, Bloom or the Broomstick With Hair. Then the film would be good enough, I suppose. Over all the film was boring, boring, boring.

One positive note: Keith Richards.

Tags: Pirates of the Caribbean – At World’s End
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Outside the lines: Tough break, Nick

It’s always interesting to find something from a comic book creator that fans usually know only through their comic book work. Something many fans don’t realize is that usually their favorite artists and authors don’t make comic books 100% of the time.

W. Michael Kaluta is an artist who has pretty much left the comic book industry for other artistic pursuits and is staying busy. He was known and is still remembered for his work on The Shadow comic and Batman at DC and has an impressive body of work. Even while active in comic books, Kaluta had explored other outlets, such as album covers and commercial illustration.

Kaluta is credited as being the artist and animator for the 1981 music video Don’t Answer Me for the Alan Parsons Project. This roughly though cleverly animated piece is a forgotten gem and a good example of an artist doing work outside the familiar venue of comic books. Done in the crime noir style of art that Kaluta does so well, it can be found on the net or by the YouTube link below.

Be a wise guy and sock the picture to lay your peepers on the video, ya bimbo!

Enjoy!

No mention of WM is complete without including a mention of the clever hat-tip to WM by artist Neal Adams in the pages of Green Lantern!

Tags: WM Kaluta Music Video Animation
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Pets: Don’t take your eyes off them for a second

Don’t ever forget that the smartest, most loving, most loyal pet on the planet will still feast on your fresh corpse if you happen to die alone at home.

And don’t wail “But….But…What about Greyfriars Bobby?“

Look, he’s a dog. He wasn’t sleeping on his deceased master’s grave every night for years because he missed the old man. Bobby was trying to dig the guy up for a snack.

That is why old people should not have pets. If a senior citizen wants companionship take a shower to get rid of that weird smell and go outside and meet people once in a while.

Tags: Pets
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Cool Golden Age Page of the Day: Alex Toth

Really. Who knew that a mountain lion had such a wicked right hook? Not Streak the Wonder Dog, that’s for sure! But the great and much-missed Alex Toth pulled it off! Could that guy layout a fight scene or what?

Sadly for comics, Alex Toth put his pen down for the final time one year ago yesterday. You may not be aware of it but you are probably an Alex Toth fan even if you never heard of him before this entry. I was an unknowing fan myself by exposure to the original 1960s Space Ghost cartoon long before I paid any attention to who were the writers, artists, inkers and letterers that created my childhood comic books. You can read more about the modern master over at Comics Should Be Good!

Page from All-American Comics #99 (July 1948).

Art by Alex Toth

Streak was the doggie side-kick of the Golden Age Green Lantern, Alan Scott. Shortly after appearing, Streak quickly became the lead player of the Green Lantern titles and much like in this Cool Golden Age Page often was the star of the strip even when appearing with Alan Scott in an anthology book outside of the regular series. Even when Alan Scott managed to get some face time on a cover it was Streak the Wonder Dog who got the doggie’s share of the exposure.

Heh. If that mountain lion wasn’t actually cat-based I could really enjoy that panel a lot more. One out of two ain’t bad, though.

Tags: Golden Age Green Lantern
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Rebuilding the Metal Men

I’m looking forwards to the new Metal Men series, mini or whatever it is that DC will be putting out soon. I’m not going to be upset that the characters are not mired in the Silver Age or have moved past the awesome Walt Simonson versions. For all I know the newer takes on the characters could be better than the originals! Who knows?

That said, I’m a little worried about the 2 new female robots that were introduced recently because they are so tough and no-nonsense. In fanboy-speak, they are feminists and therefore poor objects of desire, which will negatively affect sales in the long run. I always liked the old Platinum because she was a product of the Doc Magnus craziness infecting his work. Platinum was so sad and odd. When she felt all domestic and tried cooking some eggs for the Doc she accidentally released a super-amoeba that nearly destroyed the world. Yes, the Doc created the perfect wife/mom in his lab and screwed it up royally. No wonder he needed therapy.

A side note to DC, though. You really don’t have to reboot and start from scratch every single character in your line. Sometimes the old versions work the best, okay? For example, I can think of a recent few attempts where the new versions were vastly inferior to the old series, namely Warlord and Deadman. While you are at it crush the urge to keep making them with that crappy Manga style art. It was unique and fresh in the 70s now not so much.

But a few things have to be clear for me to fully embrace the new iterations of the Metal Men.

One is that Doc Magnus has been long established to be a bit nutty. Having him go off his meds every few issues so he can be the “threat from within” isn’t necessary. What is important is that insanity aside, the Doc has always been a Grade-A Jerkoid much of the time. Keep that up and his character will work out just fine. Being a jerk can cause more damage and catastrophic world-threatening events than just being pure evil, I know.

The other is that if even half of the craziness of the Silver Age carries over into the new series I’m sold!

Look at this page from Metal Men #1 (April-May 1963). An alien robot that self-identifies as a male desires a female robot to share its existence with. Unfortunately, it is unable to deviate from its programming and keeps manufacturing male robots. Repeatedly attempting something and receiving the same results when expecting another is the definition of crazy right there. Eventually the frustrated robot soon has an army of like creations and attacks the Earth, looking for a female robot to take home.

That is just insane. Bob Kanigher was a freaking mad genius and it would be a shame to dump wholesale what he did just because someone has a new vision. So I hope the new versions build on the old, but in a good way and not like the new Warlord did.

Hey, anyone else think that Gold would have made a great member (even maybe leader) of the JLA?

Tags: Metal Men
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Pets vs. Garbage Can

I have some left over sushi from work. It is tasty but I do not want it today and it will be unfit to eat by tomorrow.

Shall I share the tasty sushi with the house pets? Shall the tasty sushi be thrown away?

Let’s evaluate the furry vermin infesting the house and then see if we give them tasty sushi based on their behavior, shall we?

Stupid Cat #1:
Poops everywhere. Ignores litter box. Keeps disturbing my sleep by rubbing against face and purring. Attacks other animals. Runs around like it is on crack all night and day. Drags things down off of counters. Gets into things like briefcases and messes them up.

NO SUSHI FOR YOU!

Stupid Cat #2:
Poops on my clothing and bed. Urinates on my clothing and bed. Meows loudly for no reason at about 3 am every morning and doesn’t stop until sprayed with water from squirt bottle and yelled at and chased outside. Sheds like some sort of industrial shedding machine. SLEEPS on the TABLE where I EAT.

NO SUSHI FOR YOU!

Stupid Dog #1:
Is stupid and needy. Makes noises while eating. Has a habit of making chewing motions even when not actually eating anything. Also loud. That’s weird.

NO SUSHI FOR YOU!

Stupid Dog #2:
Begs for treats. Whines constantly. Catches lizards in backyard and mauls them to bloody shreds. Doesn’t eat them, instead drags them into house and smears the mess all over the place. Urinates while running from one side of the house to the other when yelled at about the damn lizard mess. Steals toys from the other animals. Doesn’t play with them, just doesn’t want them to have them. Steals food. Urinates in hallways during the night and you don’t discover it until you walk through it the morning when not yet fully awake. Attacks the other animals when they are sleeping. Nails go click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click on the wooden floors all night long because due to old injuries the nails can’t be trimmed short enough to be quieter.

NO SUSHI FOR YOU!

Stupid Dog #3:
Scratches butt on everything in reach. Smells like an old dog. Passes gas every few minutes. You know it is coming because he yelps and trembles but no human can move out of the room fast enough to avoid getting enveloped buy the noxious cloud. Barks insanely for no reason and sets the other dogs off in a cacophony of barking, howling, yipping and fighting that continues for minutes at a time. Falls down a lot. Stands in middle of room and stares at nothing which totally creeps me out and makes me check that the windows and doors are locked.

NO SUSHI FOR YOU!

Stupid Dog #4:
Will FREAKING NOT STOP bringing you the ball to play fetch with. If you put the ball away cries and whines until you give it back. Sleeps on my pillow. Jumps up and grabs food out of your hand if you are not paying attention. Rolls around in poop and then wanders about the house rolling around on the couch, bed, chair and floor.

NO SUSHI FOR YOU!

Well. After carefully tabulating the scores I found the results to be as follows:

GARBAGE CAN WINS!

I held a winner’s ceremony with the pests and the garbage can in attendance to announce the results of the contest. All the pets sat together in the kitchen and they got to watch me throw out the tasty sushi into the trash. I hope they learned their lessons.

Tags: Pets
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I’ll see your straight line and raise you a sting

Due to car problems I’ve been on the bus to and from work the last few days. I had forgotten how awful it is to take the bus in a large city because of all the psychos and homeless that ride public transportation. By the time the ride is over I’m exhausted from all the false alarms being set off in my head from my flight-or-fight responses. I’m not over-reacting. When the two guys in the seat next to you are ranting in a verbal salad and keep twitching and jumping in their seats it keeps you in a kind of an accelerated hyper-aware mode.

Yesterday I had been waiting for the bus to show at the scheduled time and it didn’t. It happens, but I was a little concerned about it because of how long it takes to get to work using the bus and being in management, I don’t like to be late. It’s bad enough I have to leave work early because if I miss the last bus for the evening at the connection it is a 6 mile walk up and down our California hills. FYI: Hills in California are what people in other states call mountains. Normally I can drive to work by car in about 10 minutes via the freeway into La Jolla. By bus it takes just over 2 1/2 hours.

That totally sucks.

One bright spot though in my public transportation adventures over the last few days is a conversation I had with a lady at the stop near my home. She was reading a heavily marked, highlighted and annotated book. I guess I should have looked closer at what she was reading before I spoke to her.

“Hi. Uh…The last bus didn’t show up. Do you know when the next one arrives?”
“God bless you.”
“Yeah, okay…Uh…”
“You need to be prepared because Jesus is coming.”
“Well, I hope it’s soon because I need a ride to work.”

ba-dum TSH!

The Bible-Reading Lady was kind of hostile towards me during the entire wait for the bus and the ensuing trip afterwards. I kept watching her carefully just in case she went all Carrie’s Mom on me.

Tags: Public Transportation Religion
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Every day is Hayley Mills Day!

I have to confess that a few weeks ago I failed to share the news of Hayley Mill’s birthday with you all, which is actually celebrated on the auspicious date of April 18th.

But for me, since every day is Hayley Mills Day and a chance to celebrate the awesome actress, it is better that I share the news later than not at all.

It wasn’t on purpose, I was feeling very sick with the flu and and it lasted nearly 4 weeks. A bad flu turned into a nasty respiratory illness that kept moving between my head and lungs. It took weeks to get rid of it and the ear aches lasted another two weeks after that. Hayleyitis I can live with but this thing I had was wreaking havoc with my health. Be assured though, that while I did not share the big birthday news with you all, I did celebrate privately in one of the many personal Hayley shrines I have in my home.

Me, posing at one of my Hayley Mills shrines. This one is in the living room.
Not counting the night table displays in my bedroom there are ten in all.

While I was recuperating I spent a lot of time relaxing in my award-winning Garden of Hayley Awesomeness! The garden is quiet, peaceful and is perfect for contemplation. I spare no expense and the lovingly tended garden is stocked year round with the most out-of-season flowers that can be found from all over the world. It is a fact that thirty men died in bringing to my garden the rare South American Rojo Gapanthus that can be seen in the picture. It was totally worth it.

Even though the day was overcast the Garden of Hayley Awesomeness is always basked in the bright, warm light emanating from her statue, even at night. In the garden I can get my Vitamin D even on the cloudiest of days. I usually don’t linger in the garden because whenever I contemplate Hayley for too long I get a funny feeling in the side of my neck, vomit and burst into tears before eventually passing out. It is something that commonly occurs among Hayley Mills fans but it is generally frowned upon as disrespectful when it happens in public, somewhat like speaking in tongues is when at the church.

After a few days in the garden soaking up the Hayleyness I felt well enough to visit my exterior Hayley Mills shrine. In making it up to you all for my illness-related faux pax in not celebrating Hayley’s birthday publicly I am allowing outsiders to see, via the magic of the internet, the Hayley Mills Celebratory Museum! Lovingly built by my own hands over several years in my back yard taking advantage of San Diego’s unique geography and world-famous extensive cave system, the HMCM is my respectful tribute to the legend that is Hayley Mills.

For obvious reasons I keep the entrance locked just like you would lock up a tool shed that protects your shovels, lawn mower and pornography. The marble cost me a pretty penny (not as pretty as Hayley, mind you) but again it was totally worth it. Once inside, a winding series of stairs takes you down through Hayley Hall and into the spacious main area of the Hayleydome.
The Hayleydome is my pride and joy and I am constantly updating and improving the many Hayley displays. It is large and has superior acoustics that compliment the nightly viewings of such Hayley Mills film fare as The Flame Trees of Thika and The Chalk Garden. Suitable for proms, wedding receptions and business meetings the Hayleydome is perfect for anyone’s Hayley-centric needs. Since it is built deep into the side of a hill it stays cool in summer and cool in winter (it is located in San Diego, after all). I once considered renting the Hayleydome out on the condition that all gatherings be Hayley-themed, but I decided I didn’t want my special place touched by strangers.

Note, on the left at the rear of the Hayleydome you can see the entrance to the recently completed Miss Bliss Annex! Now 100% Screech-free!

I could stay down here for hours but eventually I have to earn a living. So after a week I eventually go back to the house and the many smaller (though no less impressive) Hayley displays, secure in the knowledge that while I am leaving my Hayley Mills Museum behind for the time being, she has never really left my heart.

Thanks, Giada! Your Platinum Edition DVD of Summer Magic is on the way!

Tags: Hayley Mills
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