How to tell if the Iron Man movie will tank

Someone out there in internet-land needs to find out if in the up-coming Iron Man movie the power regulator in Tony Stark’s chest, which keeps his damaged heart beating, alerts him to its’ status by having the lights go out sequentially one by one as the power levels drop.

If they do go out as the battery ebbs, then you know the movie will really, really suck. Why is that? Because if the creative team on the film uses a plot device as tired as using such a patently ridiculous visual clue for the Fake Dramatic Countdown then you just know they won’t hesitate to lazily exploit every single cliche’ that they possibly can that is stored in the Big Box of Stupid Cinema Cliches’ in order to pad the script.

Hey, want to bet that when the regulator has only moments of power remaining that the entire thing lights up and blinks rapidly?

“Arrrgh! Blacking out…heart…failing…power levels…dropping! But must reverse polarity of transistor-powered Captain Morgan-Quaalude Dispenser…if it is the…last…thing…I…do!

PING blink blink blink blinkblinkblinkblinkblink beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….

digg_url = ‘’; digg_skin = ‘compact’;

See what I did there in the title? I can’t believe I don’t get paid for this.


6 thoughts on “How to tell if the Iron Man movie will tank

  1. Sure. But followed the ‘I created a problem and I’m a hero because I cleaned up my own mess’ formula. That plot will kill the comic movie franchises.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s